3 days @ home

day -3 to -1: tried to find plane/train/travel ticket. didn't get any. it's hi-season, student's holiday.

day 0-1: took bus from Denpasar and switched to train in Banyuwangi. arrived at Sby at saturday afternoon. ate Rujak Cingur; had dinner with my aunt from Batam in Plaza Tunjungan.

day 2: visited my grandparents' grave. tried to get return ticket to Denpasar but failed. to my friend's wedding. ate in D'Cost. met my best friends and had dinner twice (Malay Village and Izzy Pizza) in new mall - Sutos (surabaya town square). it's beautiful, but still some empty shops.

day 3: got bus ticket (last option). to Plaza Surabaya to buy blackberry accessories. ate Bu Kris empal and bakwan penyet lalapan pedassss.. bought ote-ote porong and kekian special for Anton. took economy bus to get to Bungurasih (bus station).

here's the story begun:

New Exotiq Villa Holidays

After 3 "painful" months, struggling in lots of work, emotions, energy and debate, the new website of company where i have been working for 16 months is finally launched.

Same URL, totally different look. http://www.exotiqvillaholidays.com/
The work has just begun.
Post launch 1.0

Talking - Chatting

The truth is.. i don't like chatting as i don't like to talk much in real life. I talk when I bored, want to make a joke, or change information (some I realize later on are not important at all). I enjoy gossiping though, as a listener! Even when i tried to get close to a handsome boy, i didn't want to say anything stupid and unnecessary so i ended up making jokes. (well... jokes are stupid and unnecessary!)



That's why i don't write much. And when i wrote, i didn't focus on the topic. Some of my posts were repetitive. Even right now.. i don't know what i want to say. It's junk.

That's why i don't sms my friends much. I don't make a phone call just to say hi. And I don't make a house visit.

But I do enjoy moments with friends. Watching their behaviors, listening to their conversation and making sarcastic comments (hahahaha.. just to tease them).

Well.. i guess i must admit that i'm not a very good friend. But i'm lucky i have many good friends.

Tentang mengikuti suara hati

aku pgn kerja krn i want to, not because i have to.
aku pgn kerja dimana pekerjaan itu sudah merupakan hobi dan hiburan bagiku, bukan suatu tekanan atau kewajiban.

aku sudah kerja di bidang IT selama hampir 7 thn skrg. dari staff warnet kampus dan skrg IT supervisor. ilmuku g byk sih, but i guess i'm lucky enough krn aku g smart2 amat (ky iklan coklat), dan kl kutekuni trus, aku bs jd seorg IT manager dlm 2-3 thn . Tp kl dipikir bnr2... aku g mau!

aku lulusan FKIP bhs Inggris, dgn artian aku bs jadi guru, or even dosen. pendptan guru/dosen lumayan bgt lho, like you can go to S'pore sethn 2x. dulu sempet jd freelance/part time teacher, thn segitu gaji per jam dah 40 rb, waahh.. Tp akhirnya aku berhenti krn aku g suka jd guru.

aku sempet jd Trainer u/ kegiatan Outbond selama 1 thn. berkat itu aku bisa ke Bandung dan Bali: free, gaji 4 hr 900 rb, and full facilities. it was really fun. syg hrs berakhir krn mslh management. andai aku mementingkan urusanku sdiri, drpd solidaritas ssma teman. hehe..

aku pernah kerja di Dive Operator. meski sbg IT jg, cukup menyenangkan krn aku hobi diving dan bisa dive free 1bln sekali ke seluruh Bali. aku pgn jd Dive Master/Instructor someday. tp krn mahal, sampe skrg g kesampaian.

aku pgn kerja di suaka alam/margasatwa. aku pgn punya peternakan, menggembala ternak2ku di padang rumput, bukit, lembah, sungai dan pegunungan.

aku pgn punya Tours and Travels agent suatu hari, inclusive paket Outbond.

aku pgn buka Pet Shop and Boarding nanti sekitar umur 40 thn.

aku pgn punya restoran, dimana design kuatur sdiri dan menu aku masak sdiri. meski g strsnya.

eh, aku sempet pgn jadi arsitek dan pelukis jg lho.

That's all.
--

tapi aku bingung. aku percaya bahwa aku duduk ditempat ini krn aliran kehidupan. tapi apa aku ditakdirkan u/ ini? ato krn aku g berani membuat keputusan u/ mengikuti suara hati?

Berbahagialah mereka yg sudah menemukan jalan hidupnya.

Minggu, 21 Sept, 08

Abis mkn mlm dgn suami tmn dari Jepang yg baru 2x jumpa, dan teman kuliah yg mengajak seorg tmn yg sudah kukenal. It was fun, and he's a fun person too. Kami bercanda spt tmn lama. Lama sekali aku tidak tertawa dan mengeluarkan joke2 spt itu. 2..3 thn yg lalu?

Tp waktu berpisah.. aku merasa sangat2 tidak enak. Pikiran itu mengusikku sampai aku tiba dirumah dan menulis blog ini. Did i give him a wrong impression? Aku g mau dia berpikir aku ini tidak sopan. Aku g mau tmn kuliahku dan tmnnya itu berpikir aku ini sembarangan.

Tp napa pula aku beranggapan spt itu? Bukankah kami ini teman lama, dan sudah tau masing2. Sejak kpn aku peduli apa pikiran org ke aku? Ok, dari dulu, tp sejak kapan hal ini menjadi hal yg sangat penting dan mengganggu sekali untukku? Ok, sejak 2 thn blkgan ini. Tapi kenapa? Apa penyebabnya?

Hey, i was joking. We were joking. Tp siapa tau kl hal2 kecil spt itu tnyata direkam di benak masing2, yg kemudian akan menimbulkan penilaian akan org tsb. Atau the way i'm joking is not fun at all? I'm honest dan aku suka mengeluarkan kata apa adanya, sebagian bsar purely krn aku ingin sekedar menggoda tmnku itu aja. No more.

Yah, kuakui aku tidak mengatakan yg sesungguhnya ttg aku kl aku bercanda. I say what they want to hear and things to make the conversation alive. But since when i care so much about the way i joke and say?

Sejak di Bali, aku lebih sering menyendiri. Not that i dont have friends. Byk tmn yg ngajakin jln. But i feel comfortable alone. Dulu aku tidak spt ini. Aku tidak keberatan menghabiskan waktu berjam2 bolos kuliah ato les, sekedar ngobrol tidak tentu di ruang kampus bersama2 tmn Mapala. Dan kadang2 aku sgt merindukan masa2 itu sampai aku menitikkan airmata dan berpikir " i wish i can go back".

Td sambil berkendara plg, ada satu gagasan timbul.. gmn kl aku jadi seorg anti-sosial? Thay way aku g perlu hrs pusing2 berpikir ttg anggapan org lain, ttg problema berteman, sakit hati, dll yg pasti muncul dlm setiap hubungan antar manusia.

Dogs are better. They don't judge. They don't take side. They don't get offended. Yeah, maybe i should become an anti social. Tp bukan yg extreme. Sekedar membatasi aja. Mungkin teman2 yg sudah mengenalku akan heran. It's so not me. But i know myself better.

Before 30

Age of 29, and I've doing it all except drugs. All the worst things I've never thought i would have done it when i was 19. I'm not proud of myself. Friends said my blog posts were merrier before; and now I'm a bitter old dog. I laugh less, and i cry more. But I'm getting wiser.

Deep inside i refuse to grow up. This you can see when you near me. My soul is dry; keep seeking for truth and forgiven. There is a place i believe i will belong to. Not here, not now, not know where and when to find it. Past is not better than present. I can't go back and i can't stay.

Am i running from something? Or am I heading to something?

I'm so scared yet excited to what people call - life after death. But i believe my mission in this world is still not yet finished. God loves me in a very strange way. I hate and miss Him at the same time. But is there really God? Is it just human idea of something sacred and big?

I'm confused. But I'm not lost. I'm holding in.

Law of Attraction

Started when i watched "The Secret" in the beginning of this year, triggered by Oprah Show, and... now I'm addicted to Paulo Coelho books. 4 years ago i was actually planned to buy his books, but then i forgot. What a timing!

I always like the idea that universe has one language, that when you think positive, everything surround you will follow and that happiness is coming from inside of us.

I was very fond of "Burung Berkicau" (Singing Bird) and "Doa Sang Katak" (Pray of A Frog) by Anthony de Mello when i was in High School.

They are saying the same idea and speaking the same language. About human to find happiness, to fulfill their legend and befriended with nature. To release oneself from paradigm, thoughts and fear created by society over centuries. To never be afraid to become yourself and pursue dream no matter how impossible it is or that no one will support you.

It's about a journey. Journey that God has written long time before and want us to excel.

GUAN - SATE BABI: PEMOGAN, BALI

Kemaren mlm, senin jam 6 sore tiba2 seorg tmn -Ricky (inset; lg mkn)- invite aku ke warung sate babi'nya - GUAN. mlm itu, sept 08 2008 adalah opening, dgn diskon 50% u/ pembeli yg berasal dari forum2 website dan kalangan tmn2 aja. 

Seporsi 10 tusuk seharga 7 ribu rupiah. setelah kedatanganku, ada 3 pembeli. 2 diantaranya memberi byk masukan u/ kedepannya. berkesempatan memotret, lsg kuambil bbrp photo dan menyantap hidangan cuma2 dr sang penjual. 

Pertama kali dlm hidupku aku merasakan sate babi seenak itu. (hehe.. baru pertama kali itu sih aku mkn sate babi) dagingnya sdnri telah direndam semlm dlm bumbu rempah2, jadi terasa gurih sekali. dibakar hanya dengan kecap manis. 

Kuncinya adalah minyak yg dipakai adalah minyak kelapa. sedangkan u/ bumbu colekan adalah kecap manis, sambal ulek, dan jeruk nipis. bagi yg kurang suka manis, 

Disarankan menutup hidangan dgn minum teh tawar. ato minta bumbu pedas.

in overall, its quite good. and anyway its FIRST DAY. lots of input and improve are needed.

CONGRATS YA, NDENG!

My new boy

He's born same week as his brother's gone. now my black boy is 4 m.o. May God watches over him all the time. And to his brother too.

I think the number is narrowed down

Tracing back my past. To find the one. Focus and solve it.
 
Clean all up. To make decision, for future I'm going to take.

I'm stuck in memories. I live in old feelings. I'm biased.
 
Is it worth to dig? Is it save to grab?

Will i get what i want? Or will i lose what i already have?