Kemaren seorang teman bertanya apakah aku punya sahabat. Hal ini memicuku akhirnya menulis blog ini setelah 3 tahun vacuum.
Setelah kupikir baik2 dimana bila persahabatan itu artinya adalah berbagi suka dan duka, maka jawabannya adalah tidak. Tapi kalau artinya adalah teman yang BAGIKU cukup dekat and I dearly love, iya ada. Aku punya beberapa teman yang standout dibanding teman2 yang lain. Meski I don't remember their birthday, don't chat much (even not in months) but I do consider them special,
Yes some of my bestfriends said that I couldnt keep a friendship. And that it hurt their feeling. Believe me, I'm really sorry and never meant to. Few have gone forever and the broken can't be amend. But some came back. Though we can't pick up what's left, we remain a friend, just friends. And that's totally ok.
To be honest, beberapa occasion dimana saat dibutuhkan, teman2 terbaik itu menampakkan diri dan menawarkan bantuan. I was so surprised, touched and cried inside. I know I've never been a good friend (in most people standards) with all my selfishness and ignorance. But still...
So why, Mariza?
Because they who care and you care, can also hurt you and you hurt.
Because I'm selfish.
Because I'm not romantic.
Aku membolehkan mereka dijarak yang aman. What?? Karena jarak itu sehat dan nyaman. hmmm???
I'm a shitty friend. Iya. Ngaku. Aku bukan tipe yang suka sms'an atau telponan, or just say "how are you today? (though I might do it randomly once a year :D )
Aku tertutup? Hmm.. gak juga. If I'm happy or angry, I make sure the whole world know. Except for one thing. To me sadness gak usah dibagi2. Let me keep it to myself. Remember. This goes one way only lho. Kalau teman mau share their unfortunate situations ke aku.. I'll stay by their side, listen to every details, cook food or make jokes to make them smile again.
If to some people, this is not okay, sorry but this is who I am. And this kind of people won't stay long with me karena aku ga suka teman yang demanding. Karena aku tau, some who really know who I am, will take me as I am and still befriended with me. Karena aku juga accept them whoever they are. I don't mind. I dont care with their flaws or dark sides. They are special to me.
