Society makes me a fake person

I'll give you facts. And along with these, are also conclusion or assumption based on my perspectives and experiences.

1. I don't like some people because they have hurt me, but I still smile and talk to them when I meet them. Simply because they are my co-workers and I have to do it to keep the working environment conducive and avoid myself being childish or rude.

This relationship is fake. I'm fake.

2. Some friends don't like other friends, but they are still hangout together. It makes me wonder whether they do the same to me.

Then this relationship is just another fake.

Society makes me a sinner. Every time I do something (mostly) related to other people that goes wrong, I feel bad about myself. Envy. Lust. When I'm alone, I can be myself.

True, society in some occasions bring out the best in me. It gives me comfort, assurance, food, shelter, work, etc. I also agree that from relationship with people, I'll get to know myself better.  But it also draws the ugly part of me that when it appears, I'm shocked and disgusted with myself.

I don't want to re-marry. Nor sharing the house with someone else. If I'm going to live in the same roof with other people, it would be my family. People whom I've known from ages.

I'm ok with the way I live at the moment. I may not be complete and real. But at least, I don't fake it. I prefer to be alone and lonely than being fake.

Idol and Enemy

I never have an idol.
Since i was a kid when it was the age of a child to adore a public figure such as singer, actress/actor, football player, cartoon hero or simply his father or mother. When my sister was an admirer of Fariz RM and my brother loved so much to watch Gaban.

I just thought that we all humans. Nobody is higher or more perfect than others. True that some people have something more compared to other people. But it's just 1 thing. That other people also have something that the famous people don't have. It is balance.

You like something or someone, okay. But becoming fans when it's not controlled could turn you to be a maniac. Love necessarily. It's dangerous. Why do you think terrorist do what they do?

Having an idol and be so maniac about it will lead to many bad things.

I never have an enemy.

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