My new boy

He's born same week as his brother's gone. now my black boy is 4 m.o. May God watches over him all the time. And to his brother too.

I think the number is narrowed down

Tracing back my past. To find the one. Focus and solve it.
 
Clean all up. To make decision, for future I'm going to take.

I'm stuck in memories. I live in old feelings. I'm biased.
 
Is it worth to dig? Is it save to grab?

Will i get what i want? Or will i lose what i already have?

Nggonku kerjo

nggon kerjoku kok mesti aneh2 yo. onok perusahaan seng bangkrut gara2 google ngetokno kode nyar, dadi g iso nututi. onok kantor seng keuangan'e gak jelas asal usul'e, sampe2 dikiro money londre. onok seng aku gegeran ambek bos'e sampek resign. (seng resign aku, mosok bos'e).

lah kantor seng saiki, eh malah onok wong limo seng resign karepe dewe wulan iki. kaco kaco!!

satu persatu kuimpikan kalian, kekasihku

starting 3 months ago, aku mulai memimpikan mereka yg pernah terlibat romance denganku. each time i woke up with ecstasy. i felt something i thought i've lost it. passion.

last night it was my first love. Erik. anak berandal berambut ikal, kulit bersih kuning langsat, tinggi, gigi putih, mata jernih, bangir, bibir merah, baik ke anak kecil, sopan ke orang tua. sayang, saat itu aku masih Smp dan dia Sma. sayang, dia g suka aku. hehehe... to him, i was only a baby-girl.

but it's all in dreams only. i don't dare to have those in my real life. not again. not when i'm with him. tho i want to sometimes.

Pusiiiinng.....

project kagak kelar2. deadline kurang sehari.
pacar training 2 bln di sby. abis itu kontrak 2 thn di bedugul.

all happen in the same time. bikin puyeng!!!!

baru kali ini jadi project manager beneran.
baru kali ini ditinggal pacar jauhan.

bikin streee....ss ajaaa!!!!

who i was before

was an invisible student, who like to sleep during lessons; who like to spend school break alone. enjoyed library so much. skipped "tata busana" lesson to sleep in an empty classroom. starred outside school windows and day-dreaming.

was a quiet kid. sweet and shy girl. a forgiving child. didn't know jokes and how to dress. didn't like gossiping. avoided crowd. living in my own world.

had 7th grade class twice. got 4 in english test. didn't like to study. didn't know how to write in ms.word until university. never been in Mall/plaza until age 18. didn't like to brush my teeth or wash my hair. slept under the bed. passive and kept silence.

so where is she now?

Complicated me

not because my childhood friends' said that wearing clothes or bag with big brand attached on it, not original, (nike, billabong, guess, dolce'n gabbana etc) is considered cheap, then i don't like either.

not because my friends said it's gross to "buang ingus" so that i'm afraid of doing it. hey.. i got flu almost every month.

some times i think what will people think about this and that.
many times i think what will people think if i do this and that.
each time i blame my self of thinking too many.

but there are times when my mind is blank and i hate myself why.
hmm..

Reuni 60thn SMP St. Maria Surabaya

Teman-teman Alumni SMP Santa Maria Surabaya Angkatan '75 - '95, mari bernostalgia bersama kawan lama dan mantan para guru kita, selagi masih ada waktu

Waktu: Minggu, 3 Augustus 2008 / 18.00 - 22.00 Wib
Tempat: Graha Family & Conuntry Club, Jl. Raya Golf Graha Family

UNDANGAN TERBATAS, hubungi:

- SMP Santa Maria (031-6037.1008/031-5677890 Ext. 115-116)
- Ibu Diana (081.830.1072) / Ibu Theresia (0818.0322.9962 / 031-7050.0918)

Harga undangan sebesar Rp. 175.000,00

Kunjungi juga! Open House SMP Santa Maria pada tanggal 6 Agustus 2008, 07.00 - 13.00, di SMP Santa Maria Surabaya

BAZAAR & PENTAS SENI
Jumat-Sabtu / 8-9 Agustus 2008
Jam 09.00 - 21.00
Tmp: SMP Santa Maria Sby

Seminar Pendidikan
Sabtu, 9 Agustus 2008
Jam 07.30 - 12.30
Tmp: Aula Lt.4 SMA Santa Maria

"where'd you go.. i miss you so.."

i don't know what had happened. i miss you, my little one.

it hurts me so bad, thinking you weren't here with me.
i really really miss you.

kinds of dream i hate

again i had this dream. i saw my new little one lying still. it terribly makes me worry.

a friend said "leave it on life. you are like this because everyday you expect this to happen."

i don't know what to do. I'm afraid to love, and to cry, again.
it's been 5 months i join a class at local church. it's all about sins, cross of life, forgiveness, life after death, kingdom of heaven....till now, the lessons don't satisfy my questions.

i don't know what to believe. my hearts. my logic. the reality.