2014 - Wind of Change

After being "comfortably stuck" in Subak Dalam for 3+ years after the divorce, life forced me to step outside and take a leap of faith.

Early this year I lost my best friend for the past 6 years. He shared my rainy and sunny days. I raised him since he's a week old, my Dollie - the reason of many decisions I have taken. Since there were only 2 of us at home, I decided to give him 2 companions, Lady and Bonnie, so he wouldn't be lonely when I worked or traveled. I didn't want to move. I liked it in there.

But the situation that led him to pass away and some others, forced me to move out. I found a nice 2 bedrooms house in Mekar with a beautiful garden. I relocated there with the girls, closer to work and my brother. The rent of the new house is twice expensive. It's located in a complex which is much safer for a loner.

Well, who would expect that Bonnie soon gave birth to 3 amazingly cute puppies. I sterilized her soon after 2 months breastfeeding. Lady (older) is already sterile when I adopt her 2 years ago. The past 2 months was a struggle to me; whether to keep the babies or give them away. There are many considerations. Hard ones. So I left it to God, and now I end up raising all of them. Friends cancelled adopting two of them. Hmmm...It won't be easy but I'm ready. Then I bought a car in 4 years term loan.

Suddenly yesterday, there was news from my boss at the office that there will be company structure reshuffling. It hits us all.

I don't know, none of us know, how things will develop in next few months or years. I have responsibilities: my dogs, my loans in motorcycle and car, and house rent. That means only 3. No traveling. No traveling. No traveling.

I have to safe money, in case later on I have to find another job which I'm not sure will give me same salary as now. I have to think about my dogs. Not only my own pleasure. Its a big responsibility. That's why I don't want to have kids of my own.

Ok, what else will come this year? or next year?

Similarity between me and Young-Do

Saat ini lg ngikutin serial TV korea terbaru "The Heirs". Second male lead namanya Young Do diperankan oleh Kim Woo Bin. Dicerita itu dia naksir Eun Sang yg menolaknya mentah2 bahkan u/ berteman sekalipun. Well, me too.

Aku naksir Suma. Dia tinggal di Borneo. Kontak kami cuma di Facebook dan sms aja. Kita dah kenal lama sblmnya dan ga pernah ktmu lg selama berthn2.

Kemaren kublg dia krn kita memiliki hobi sama yaitu traveling (yg mungkin krn itu jg kami memilih menjadi single), why dont we try to hook up? Dlm artian open relationship. No string attached. No status. Jlni hobi spt biasa. So simple kan? 

But he said NO. Fuck! Dimana sih susahnya? I want to hurt him. Really.

Tapi kl kupikir2 its not actually him yg bikin aku cinta ato terluka. Melainkan rasa itu sendiri. Aku memprojeksikan keinginan, hasrat dan cintaku ke seseorang, which is happened to be him. Saat dia menolak this "bundle of joy", aku jd merasa bingung dan sedih. Musti kubawa kmn "package" ini. Cari potensi baru (cowok yg qualified) ini yg males n repot.

Huh! I really want to hurt him. Kekanak2an ya! So I know how you feel, Choi Young Do.

Suma

Orang yang saat ini bisa bikin aku ketawa ga jelas dan gundah gulana. Aku kenal dia 11 thn yg lalu. Bertemu beberapa kali sesudahnya untuk waktu singkat, lalu sudah sekitar 8 thn ini ga ketemu lagi. Pendiam, ramah dan asik.

Well, aku dah bilang ke dia bln lalu kl sejak pertama ketemu ada rasa. Respon dia biasa aja. That's fine. Nothing serious. Aku juga ga tau mau gimana kalo seandainya dia jg suka. Rumit juga situasinya. And i know what i want for my future (i'll tell you later). Jadi mending gini aja. Ga perlu di follow up. I like him, that's good. Beri sedikit warna dan ombak dalam cerita hidupku until then.

----- UPDATE TODAY, 01 NOV

Semalam ku bilang dia kl aku mau sms dia tiap hari no matter what his response will be. Aku decide u follow my heart and do whatever makes me happy. Dia ga blg ya, atau tidak. Well, ini hari kedua dan aku sudah mulai ragu. Hahaha... Bukan krn imanku ga kuat, tp kupikir ini sesuatu yg bodoh. Lagi in love itu meresahkan. Ky org bego lho. Hp diliatin tiap detik. Bener2 ky abg. Dan apakah he's worth it? Aku dulu bbrp kali dlm situasi ini dan semua gagal. Just name it. Fancy, Aming... So, what's the difference with this one? Dammit! Should I take back my words?

My work

I don't like talking about my job or what I do for living. It's just the same. Been working in IT industry since I was in university 13 years ago. Starting from web editor, SEO until now Project Manager & Account Manager at once.  I don't know what I will do without internet. Hahaha... I guess I will stay in this industry until ..well.. only God knows. I enjoy my work now. Good salary. Good environment. I can go travel.

Btw, I plan to start blogging again. I found Facebook is less comfortable and safe to share my stories. Actually I was planning to either delete the account, create a new one, remove some people, or just put people in categories.

Japan Trip 24 Sept - 01 Oct 2013: Toshogu Shrine, Nikko

The Main Entrance to Toshogu Shrine (Nikko Heritage Center). It is a complex of shrines and temples.

My hotel (ryokan) in Nikko was only 5 minutes walk to this place. I made the right choice :p. Coming here is also very easy if your hotel is quite challenging for walking. There are buses every 15 minutes. You can buy 1 day or 4 days bus ticket to reach all tourist destination in Nikko. This city is on mountain hill. Really beautiful and recommended to visit.


The entrance to one of the buildings. Best to visit before 9 am as after breakfast time tourists will come and swarm this location.

Some buildings are forbidden, no entrance. This one, we can only enter from the right side. Taking off sandals and shoes. No camera is allowed.

I met Kikiyo. They are few of them. I wonder if they have power like in manga stories of female monks?

Couple dipercaya kalau memutari lingkaran ini sebanyak 3x, masuk dan keluar dalam formasi 8, akan berjodoh atau awet. Sayangnya aku sendiri, jd cuma bisa ambil photo aja. :p Next time maybe I can come with someone special here?

 Mungkin di pohon keramat ini Inuyasha disegel.

Tambatkan harapan, shio dan hasil ramalanmu di gantungan ini. Bisa di balok kayu ini atau yang berbentuk dibawah ini.

Unik bentuknya. Ikat aja ramalan yg sudah kamu beli scr random di byk box yg tersedia (100 Y) disini.

Tips: Didalam area ga ada yg jual makan dan minum. Bawa minum dari hotel. Diluar area tepatnya di parkiran baru ada. Kedua, tempat sampah jarang ada di Jepang terutama di public space. Karena kurang umum org makan sambil jalan. Menghindari "nyampah" juga. Jadi taruh di tasmu. Di main building ada juru photo jg yg sediain service photo.

Japan Trip 24 Sept - 01 Oct 2013: Mount Fuji

Mount Fuji Information Center. The leaves have started to change colors. Too bad I arrived a week earlier. It will change to full multi colors then.

Mas ganteng. Huaaaa.. He was sitting next to me during the full day trip but I didn't exchange name and contact with him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!






Mount Fuji 5th Station. It was foggy and crowded. Very cold! I had to wear my sweater. But I forgot to ask someone to take a picture of me. Hehe... Souvenir shops are heaven to me!

 







Entrance to the shrine. Met other Indonesians. I didn't say hi. Maybe I was just pretending to be a Japanese like they thought I am. Anyway, it's so foggy we couldn't see the summit of Mt.Fuji. Tour guide said it means that we have to come back to Japan again. Haha.. nice catch!

Why

I can still remember you, my love. All of you.
The betrayal, pains and happiness you have given me.  

Both tears and laughters. I cannot forget.
You make me fear to feel.

I can not love anymore. I'm afraid.

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam Trip - October 2012

Aslinya mau ke Manila, Philippine, tapi karena teman2 yg mau ikut mendadak batal, akhirnya batal dan dapat tiket murahnya ke Ho Chi  Minh. Awalnya ragu2 tapi aku skrg setuju itu keputusan terbaik.

Malam pertama landing di Saigon (nama lain Ho Chi Minh) jam 11 mlm. Kuatir krn kemalaman sampe airport dan ga dapat bis. Please note disini ga ada subway ato train line (MRT) gitu ya.. Akhirnya nego dengan supir taxi dan dapat harga seingatku 100rb an atau bbrp ratus ribu VND (Vietnamese Dong). 1 VND = 0.5 IDR.

Lah kok hampir dekat hotel, taxiku ditabrak dari belakang sampe penyok. Aku berdoa "Tuhan, masa aku mati di negeri orang di malam pertama sampe." But all was settled. Aku stay di Saigon Backpacker Hostel di Pham Ngu Lao area, lokasi tourist yg aman biarpun tengah mlm jalan sendiri. Hostel meski kecil dan agak tersembunyi didlm gang, tapi bagus, bersih, murah dan strategis. Free breakfast dan wifi. Mie instant, roti, teh, kopi dan buah.

Paginya aku keluar ternyata dpn gang itu pasar traditional. It was fun liat apa yg dijual. Dan mereka malah nawarin aku dalam bhs viet. Kata temen sih aku emang mirip orang vietnam. Betul gak?

Day 1 aku jalan2 di tengah kota plus cari tour package buat hari 2 dan 3. Gambar pertama diatas itu Katedral. Cuma 20 menit jalan sih, tapi aku ngojek 50rb rupiah keliling 3 lokasi. Lanjut ke Central Post Office di gambar kedua. Dalamnya besar dgn interior unik. Byk org yg kirim postcard, beli souvenir atau sekedar photo2. Ada phone booths kuno dengan byk jam menunjukkan waktu berbagai negara.

Setelah itu aku ke Ben Thanh market, pasar terbesar di Saigon. Itu pasar basah dibagian belakang (food court, sayur, buah dll), dan pasar kering di bagian depan yg jual suvenir, baju dll. Aku kesini pagi siang malam karena cuma 10  menit jalan dr hotel. Hehe.. Kl malam, area luar pasar jadi food stall area. Ky pasar senggol. Image disebelah ini adalah jajanan khas dari ketan. Dikasih kelapa parut dan gula aren cair. Persis ky jajanan kita. Wuenakk! Seporsi 15 ribu.

Lalu aku juga nyobain Banh Mi, atau semacam sandwich. Ini asli pork. Wuenak sisan. Seharga 20rb an. Dekat hotel ada depot Pho (mi khas vietnam) yang mantab abis. Aku makan sini tiap hari. Seporsi 50-60rb tergantung isi. Mau daging doang ato plus bakso. Kuah dagingnya seger dengan sayuran fresh semcm bawang pre, kemangi dan cabe merah potong.

Nah hari kedua aku ke Cao Dai Temple. Disini uniknya. Di temple ini ada bbrp aliran kepercayaan menggunakan fasilitas sama dan jam2 sama. Ada Muslim, Taoisme, Konfusionisme dan Buddha. Gambar diatas, liat aja warna bajunya, menunjukkan aliran yg mana. Yg putih muslim, sisanya aku lupa. Harmonis ya!

Suka liat wanita berpakaian khas Vietnam dgn baju panjang dan topi capil. Souvenir khas Vietnam juga byk menampilkan wanita dgn pakaian ini. Disini aku liat banyak sepeda kayuh dgn mesin motor. Jepang juga ada spt ini.

Tour kami datang di hari dan jam yg pas. Yaitu Jumat'an jam 12 siang. Masuk bangunan, sandal sepatu harus dicopot. Kita ga boleh ke main floor karena bersih. Jadi kalo mau liat org2 sembahyang, bisa naik ke lantai 2 dan lihat dari pinggir. Boleh ambil photo tp tanpa blits dan ga boleh bersuara. Dan saat 12 teng, semua org harus diam dan ga boleh melintas bangunan bagian depan. Dipercaya itu arah kepala Tuhan ato leader masing2. Kalo melintas artinya menginjak mereka. Kita berhenti kurang lebih 15 menit. Selama waktu itu nyanyian persembahan terdengar dari dalam. Plus kentongan halus berirama. Dung..dung..dung..



Nah lalu sorenya tour kami ke Cu Chi Tunnel. Tempat orang vietkong. Disini kami ditunjukkan bermacam jebakan dan lubang rahasia org vietkong saat melawan Amerika. Sad story. Mereka blg dunia anggap org vietkong kejam. Padahal sebenarnya mereka cuma melindungi tanah kelahiran dan org2 tercinta. Sama seperti kita Indonesia sepertinya. Yg dijajah kumpeni and nipon.

Pasti mampus dah kl jatuh kesini.

Hari ke 3 aku ambil trip ke Mekong Delta River. Sungai besar dimana terjadi pertemuan jalur air dgn negara Kamboja. Disini juga ada Floating Market ky yg ada di Banjarmasin.

Do I look good with that hat? Hahaha...

Tour mampir ke Coconut Plantation and Candy Factory. Cara bikin dodol kelapa. hehe.. alat sama ky di pasar kita lho.

As a summary, I love my visit. Will definitely come back again someday. Murah, makanan enak (kl kamu ga ada pantangan lho ya), byk tempat bagus. Jangan kuatir. Di Pham Ngu Lao banyak money changer dgn rate ok, ada circle K, KFC (bagi yg muslim) dan atm dimana kamu bisa narik dari tabunganmu, (kl ga salah niaga atau BII yg kupake dulu itu). Orang sana byk yg bisa bhs Inggris.

Is this true?

Many times I asked myself whether I've made a right decision. That this is what I truly want. Not because of some reasons I can't explain here. I hurt him. I hurt his family. People that I care.

We divorce.

I miss him a lot sometimes until I cried. Home, Bali and everything without him are not the same anymore. Our dolie gets the impact too. We were happy together. But deep down in my heart, I know that this is not enough. I can't tell him how sorry I am. And that I do love him in a unique way. God, help us to get through this situation.

Perth - Western Australia Trip, January 21-14, 2012

People here start the day late at 9 am. So when I walked out my hotel (Brittany at William), it was so quiet and surprised me.

Just 5 minutes walk from my hotel is Perth Youth Library and Museum. They park their bicycles so neatly. Love it.

In front of my hotel is this bar. Haha... No, I didn't go inside.








There are hop-in and hop-off double decker buses around city area. Free! The schedule is every 15 minutes. Don't worry of missing the bus. Get the next one. Best seat is on top.

I love watching the movies so I was intrigued to take the photos of Australia police car.

Wallabies, kangaroo.. mm what else...








Look how dandy this fellow Jack is.







This is how farmers harvest the wool without hurting their back.

Fun! The boat was speeding and the water splashed hard on us.







Sea lion, seagull and penguin as the main attraction of this Rottness Island tour.








At first I had no idea what this thing is. When I ordered food, the waiter gave it to me and told me to sit and wait. Few minutes later this thing made a sound and I learned that this means your order is ready to be fetch on the serving desk.

Cute! Parents can take their babies with them while biking around the island.

You can stay here. Many restaurants and rooms for rent.

Fuel in your boat by your self.