Thursday, May 26, 2011
Suicidal Person
I'm a strangely logical person and very sensitive. One side I feel so sentimental, while on the other I think that what life really is; mean, cold and that shits happen. Yet, it's my second time thinking of committing a suicide. Not slicing my hand with a blade, drinking poison, bumping on a high speed truck, or jumping from the height of 150 m building. No, that will be so gross, painful and common. It should be clean and easy. I thought that it is much easier if I just die. Poof! This way I won't have to hurt everyone I love. Well, they will mourn for days, but life goes on. Because the problem is me. Not them. And I can't solve it. Nor telling them. I'm torn apart. I'm a drama queen. Still I want to die.
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3 comments:
but why...?
tidak ada hidup yang sempurna. dan kupikir hidupmu tidak jauh dari sempurna..
mariza....i think...kamu butuh "tantangan". i think its how you live your life the best..?
Yes. it's the challenge that i need. i feel so bored with life i have at the moment. That's why (1) i always have a crush with a new guy. But then I got bored again. (2) i like traveling. But husband not. and i don't want to have a child that he wants very much. i feel trapped with this marriage. so lately i've been thinking of 2 possibilities. die or divorce. and both hurts him. i am so..so..confused and sad.
aming said that because i am not grateful with life god's been giving. he might be true.
am changing blog permission that only you will be able to see. it's been risky subjects lately.
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